Turning 18 has got to be on the weirdest feelings I’ve felt in a while. It’s this odd feeling that you’ve mighty morphed into this large, serious-sounding person. I imagine this is how Alice felt when she drank all of those potions.
When I was younger, my mom took pride in all of the ridiculous clothing she could photograph us in. For me, she had me take these outlandish baby portraits where I’m wearing this pink, monogrammed pair of underwear with ” Mackenzie” labeled in cursive on my backside facing the camera, with this grin that just looks like I’m saying” Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just chilling with my ultra hip pink, frilly, “Mackenzie” lace underwear. Nothing out of the ordinary. I do this all of the time.” Grossly enough, my mom has kept this pair of underwear. Even grosser, a few years ago in a fit of curiousity I tried to see if the underwear fit. Don’t judge me. Obviously, they didn’t fit, but the feeling that surrounded trying the underwear on is pretty similar to turning 18. Hmm, Someone somewhere just awarded me the “Creepiest Analogy Award 2009″. I can feel it.
But I digress.It’s almost like in a metaphorical way, you aren’t allowed to wear pink monogrammed undies anymore. You have to wear serious, purposeful underwear, start thinking about utility bills, andset money aside for dentures. I don’t like it. It sort of freaks the living daylights out of me.
It sort of hit me the other day when I was trying to renew my library card and Mr. Moodylibrarianman told me I needed a new I.D , since it was incorrect. Naturally, I asked if I could just have my mom come by to confirm my address. He said ” You’re an adult now. You can’t have your mommy do everything for you now.”
Boo, hiss. Need some ice for that burn?
I know it was just a small, snide comment, but it still messed with my mind a little. To me the comment actually sounded like this:
“Prunes. Prunes. Prunes. Retirement fund. Replacement hips. Water Aerobics. Senior specials at Denny’s. Red Hat Society.”
I mean, 18 is supposed to be exciting! Naughty magazines! Scratch offs! Lottery Tickets! Smokeless tobacco! Smoke(ful) tobacco! Woo! Right?
I’m just pretty indifferent at this point. It seems to be an age with alot of gravitas and expectation. I think it’s also because 18 signifies another sort of segment in someone’s life. From 18-28, most of the change in someone’s life occurs. College. Grad School. Marriage. Nicole becoming my surrogate ( muahahahahahahaha!). In my mind, it’s a lot less climbing trees, wearing frilly underwear, playing with Hello Kitty mansions and more anti-aging cremes, cellulite, checkbook balancing, and dinosuar sandwich making. But, in a way, I know it can’t all be like that. There’s got to be a little gnome stealing and frilly underwear wearing in the coming years as well, right?
